I don’t track resolutions. I track progress.
I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. Mostly because they rarely work. Just because the calendar changes to a new year, it doesn’t mean you are suddenly a different person.
That being said, I do like to use the calendar to track my progress and to track what I’m working on next. Which can sound like the same thing, but in my mind it's completely different. Let me explain.
When people make New Year’s resolutions it usually sounds like this:
I’m going to eat better in 2024
I’m going to start going to the gym
I’m going to learn to relax
I’m going to start prioritizing self care
Those are all great ideas, but the reason resolutions like this rarely work is because they’re not specific enough. If you want to eat better in 2024, what does that look like? What kind of foods will you eat and what kinds will you avoid? How often will you go to the gym and what kind of workout will you do when you get there? How will you learn to relax? What tools will you use or books will you read and how and when will you implement it? What does self-care mean to you? What specific things will you do, how often, and when? And what things do you have in place to ensure these things will happen?
For a goal to actually be accomplished, it needs to be more than just an idea. You need certain things in place for you to be successful.
Have you ever heard of SMART goals? I love this method for goal setting because it helps you to set goals that you will actually achieve.
If you’re reading this newsletter then likely one of your goals is around regulating your nervous system. What are some SMART goals you could set for 2024? Let’s pick breathwork and put it through this system.
First, watch THIS VIDEO where I teach you the right way to expand through your ribcage to engage your Vagus nerve and relax your nervous system.
Could you set the goal to do this exercise daily? Let’s fine tune it with the SMART method:
SPECIFIC
The goal is to do this breathwork exercise every day at least once a day. 2-3 times a day is even better.
MEASURABLE
After trying this exercise, maybe you want to improve how far you can expand your ribcage, so the end goal is to expand 2-3 inches with each inhale.
ACTIONABLE
When will you be doing this goal? Could you set an alarm on your phone to remind you to do this exercise throughout the day? Choose a time that makes sense for your schedule. It’s great to do in between meetings or activities, before you drive, before you eat, or when you wake up or before bed.
REALISTIC
If you’ve never set a goal like this before, don’t tell yourself that you’ll do this 5 times a day. Start with just once. If you don’t have the measuring tape with you, just use your hands on your ribcage to practice and measure your progress once a week at home.
TIMEBOUND
Commit to doing this for a month and then check back in and see how you feel and how much progress you’ve made. Has it had an impact on your stress/anxiety or ability to regulate?
Try this and let me know how it goes!
But before you start working on your goals for 2024, this is also a great time to spend some time looking back.
One of my favorite books as an entrepreneur is The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. But the principles behind it applies to many aspects in life.
The idea presented in this book is instead of always looking forward toward the horizon and trying to measure how much closer you are to achieving what you want, which can feel impossible and slow and like it’s never going to happen, they teach to instead focus on looking back on how far you’ve come.
But here’s the key: you look back not to judge, but to learn. Even if you had a year where nothing seemed to work, you still have so much you can learn from that. But you likely also gained a lot. Just the fact that you’re reading this means you’re trying to learn how to get better. That is a gain! You’re putting forth effort to improve yourself!
It’s easy to get wrapped up in shame and wishing that you were doing better than you are. But remember, shame is a tool your subconscious uses to keep you where you are. It’s meant to keep you stuck. Because your subconscious thinks that change is dangerous or unsafe.
But the only way you will improve is by getting uncomfortable and stepping outside of that shame and moving forward anyway. Give yourself some grace and compassion and allow those thoughts to just drift on by. Focus instead on finding where what gains you had. Then take the time to celebrate those things! Write down what worked the last 12 months. What has gotten easier? What things did you learn? What tools do you have now that you didn’t have before? Are you clearer on what direction you need to go in to heal? Do you now know what doesn’t work and can now try something new?
Perspective is everything! If you want to reach your goals next year, then looking back and gaining some confidence is so important.
And then lastly, find the gratitude. What things are you grateful for from the last 12 months. What exciting things happened? What happy things will you hold on to? Spend some time reflecting and write them down.
These are the ways we start to rewire our brain. Because if you want the next 12 months to be different from the last, then you can’t do the same things you’ve always done.
I’m excited for next year! I’ll be finishing my health coaching program and starting to see my first clients. I’ll be launching some courses to teach you how to regulate your nervous system. So many exciting things!
But I’m grateful for you and your support! My hope is that you find value in my content and that you are able to live with more peace and calm and contentment.
