From fight or flight to calm: Regulate your nervous system with movement
Have you ever tried a calming meditation or visualization and it just didn’t work? You’re imagining that you’re sitting in the forest listening to the birds sing and suddenly there’s a bear chasing you! Or you’re trying to picture yourself relaxing at the ocean, listening to the relaxing sound of the waves, and suddenly there’s a tsunami!
This just happened to me last night. I was lying in bed and couldn’t seem to relax my mind and so I tried my trusty visualization exercise that always works for me. But in every single scenario I tried to visualize, something kept going really wrong.
I did eventually fall asleep after doing some bi-lateral stimulation, and a rocking motion, but it didn’t occur to me until this morning what was actually happening:
My nervous system didn’t feel safe and it was trying to let me know I needed to stay on alert.
In the moment, I was just frustrated that nothing was working, but that frustration was likely just confirmation for my nervous system that something was wrong and now was not the time for relaxing.
Not every calming technique works in every scenario. Sometimes what we need depends on which nervous system state we’re in.
I went to bed last night with more stress than usual. I had a lot of emotion I was struggling with, some anger (anger is something I’m still learning how to process through), and I’m close to the start of my cycle so my emotions are less regulated and my stress resilience is lower.
My typical nervous system state when I’m stressed is Freeze/Shutdown mode, and in that state, doing something to bring me back into my body like those visualizations are perfect.
But I was in full on Fight mode. I wanted to throw things (I didn’t, but man did I want to). I was full of energy that wasn’t going to be soothed; it needed to be worked out. The reason the rocking worked to calm me down instead of the visualizations is because I needed to move my body. If I had the awareness at the time, then getting up and pressing hard against the wall would have been good, jumping up and down, letting my whole body shake, or screaming into a pillow would have all been beneficial things to do.
If you’ve tried certain techniques that are supposed to help you when you’re stressed but they just didn’t work for you, then it’s probably because you were using the wrong technique for that particular state!
Your nervous system is never trying to hurt you. It’s not broken; it’s trying to protect you.
When you’re feeling stress or anxiety, it’s because your nervous system senses a threat and it’s not going to calm until it feels like that threat is no longer there.
In the book, The Body Remembers by Babette Rothschild, the author tells a story about working with a client who had severe PTSD after living through a big earthquake.
He got into her office and sat on the edge of his seat. His legs were bouncing up and down as he’s telling her how he has such a hard time being inside buildings now. No matter where he is, he needs to sit where he can see an exit. He can’t relax because he just keeps feeling like he wants to jump up and run outside.
Her solution? She told him to jump up and run outside. Follow through with what his body wanted to do, then come back and see how that felt.
So he did. And when he came back, he sat all the way back in his chair. His legs were no longer bouncing, and he visibly looked so much more relaxed.
He was stuck in Flight mode. His nervous system was stuck in that moment of panic that happened during the earthquake and he was constantly getting the signal to get up and run away, likely because at the time, he couldn’t follow through on those instincts.
Once he literally got up and ran away, it appeased his nervous system. He had to physically work through those motions to get his nervous system to reset.
This isn’t always possible to do in every scenario though, and not every impulse should be listened to. Last night I felt like hitting someone but that definitely would have only caused more problems.
But understanding the concept of moving through your nervous system states and what you need in each moment is important.
Maybe jumping up and running out of a building isn’t possible, but could you go into the bathroom and let yourself shake all over? (There’s a reason most animals do this when they’re anxious)
Physically breaking or throwing something is rarely the answer, but could you press as hard as you can into a stable wall, while letting yourself feel that emotion?
This is why so many of us women rage clean and feel so much better afterward. IYKYK.
Especially with Fight or Flight, movement is often necessary to fully process through those states.
Pay attention to your body and what it’s asking from you. Don’t just give in to your impulses, but listen to what those impulses are wanting from you. What’s a safe way that you could listen to those impulses?
If you’re stuck in fight or flight, your body is primed for movement. Instead of trying to force stillness, use active ways to discharge excess energy first—then more calming regulation techniques will be more effective.
Physical & Movement-Based Releases (Move the energy out of your body!)
Go for a brisk walk or run (Forward movement signals safety to the brain)
Jump up and down (Activates the vestibular system & helps discharge adrenaline)
Dance (freely or to a fast song) (Expresses movement in a natural and fun way)
Let your body shake (intentionally or involuntarily) (Trauma release technique—shake each limb individually or your whole body)
Punch a pillow or mattress (A safe way to release built-up fight energy)
Do push-ups, squats, or lunges (Big muscle movements burn off stress hormones)
Hit a punching bag or throw a weighted slam ball (Engages fight response in a controlled way)
Stomp your feet on the ground (hard!) (Like a toddler tantrum—grounding & discharging)
Bounce on a trampoline or yoga ball (Helps shift the nervous system out of a stress loop)
Press as hard as you can into a stable wall for 5-10 seconds (release, repeat 3-4 times) (Activates muscle engagement & resets tension)
Roll up in a blanket tightly, then slowly unwind (Creates compression & then full-body release)
Breath & Sound-Based Releases (Use your voice and breath to release tension!)
Turn up your favorite song in the car and sing as loud as you can
Scream into a pillow (Helps express stuck fight energy without alarming others)
Scream into a bowl of water (Dampens sound while still allowing a full-body release)
Lion’s Breath: Inhale deep, then exhale with a loud "HA" while sticking out your tongue (Releases jaw, throat, and diaphragm tension)
Hum deeply or chant “OM” (Stimulates the vagus nerve & vibrates tension out of the body)
Horse Lips / Lip Trills (Blow air through loose lips like a horse) (Releases jaw & face tension, calms the system)
Box breathing (4-4-4-4 count: inhale, hold, exhale, hold) (Balances oxygen & calms the nervous system)
Sensory-Based Releases (Ground yourself through touch & temperature shifts!)
Grip an ice cube in each hand (Cold exposure shifts nervous system response)
Alternate splashing cold & warm water on your face (Stimulates vagus nerve, resets stress response)
Press your palms together firmly for 10 seconds, then release (Creates muscle engagement & relaxation)
Rub your hands together fast, then place them on your face or chest (Stimulates circulation & calms the system)
Expressive & Symbolic Releases (Let it out in a tangible way!)
Throw socks or soft objects at a wall (with force!) (A safe way to express frustration)
Write down everything you’re feeling, then rip up the paper (Symbolic & cathartic release)
Blow up a balloon as big as you can, then let it go (Deep breathing + a playful, physical release)
Laugh loudly, even if it feels fake at first (Activates the parasympathetic nervous system & rewires the brain)
Final Reminder:
If you’re in fight or flight, stillness may feel impossible.
Move first, regulate after.
Once you’ve discharged the extra energy, calming techniques (breathwork, visualization, tapping) will work more effectively.
These tools are phenomenal to use when you’re stuck in that stress state, but often the core issue is lowering the dial on your entire nervous system. That’s exactly what I teach you to do in my course Regulate + Thrive: Learn to Rewire Your Nervous System with Safety and Self-care.
I’ve been getting so many messages from people expressing how much it’s helped them. Wonder if it might be right for you too?
