Set specific goals to avoid setting yourself up for failure
I don’t like to set New Year’s resolutions, but I do like to set goals for the year. And though they might sound like the same thing, they’re really not.
A New Year’s resolution tends to be vague. “I want to be healthier in 2025.” “I’m going to eat better.” “I’m going to work out more.”
Those are great aspirations, but when we don’t set parameters on what that looks like, it sets us up for failure.
So why should you set goals for the year and how should you do it?
We want to set goals because otherwise we’re living our life on auto-pilot. Goals give us a direction to go in. Most of us want our lives to improve in some way, but it will never happen unless we actually make changes. And change is HARD!
Setting a specific goal and getting clear on how to get there is like pulling up directions when driving to a new place, instead of getting in you car, making random turns and hoping you’ll eventually get to your destination.
But how do you set goals that actually stick and work?
One of the keys that has helped me tremendously is first looking back. Because setting goals can feel daunting. If it’s a goal we’ve set many times before, then there might be shame there. A part of us might believe that reaching this goal isn’t possible even though we want it so bad. By first looking back and remembering the last 12 months we can change our mindset.
Let’s do this exercise together. You’re going to want to go grab a notebook.
The goal of this exercise is to look back at 2024 and acknowledge all you’ve accomplished and survived. And I know it’s been a lot because you’re still here reading this right now. It doesn’t have to be monumental things, but the purpose of this is to show yourself that you’re more resilient than you think.
Take a few moments and reflect on the last 12 months. Maybe look through your calendar or planner, or your photos. Start to remember all of the things that happened. The good, the hard, the awful. Make a list of events that come to mind. The small things and the big things.
Maybe you tried to grow a garden for the first time. Maybe you just survived the harvest season. Maybe you started a new habit or practice. Maybe you made a new friend. Maybe you did something that’s scary for you. Maybe you had a few difficult circumstances that you survived.
Nothing is too small. Even maintaining habits is an accomplishment! It doesn’t matter what it looks like to anyone else, all that matters is how you feel about it.
Once you’ve remembered your year, now I want you to write down as many things as you can for each of these questions, and it’s okay if there’s overlap:
In the past year:
What did you survive?
What did you learn?
What did you conquer?
What can you be proud of?
If you struggle with any of these, ask for help from someone you’re close to. We often shrug off our accomplishments as no big deal when they really were. Surviving something doesn’t mean it was awful. The week of Black Friday was insane for me and it was all good things, but I survived that week!
Maybe it was an incredibly difficult year and the fact that you’re still here is a major accomplishment. Own that.
Nothing is too big, and nothing is too small.
If this exercise brings up any shame or disappointment, just notice those thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge that they’re there. But allow yourself to notice the positives. Maybe you didn’t handle a situation the way you wanted, but were you able to learn from it? Maybe you haven’t succeeded the way you wanted but have you given up? (If you’re reading this, the answer is no, because it means you’re still looking for solutions).
Allow yourself to sit in your accomplishments. What does this teach you about yourself? Are you stronger than you thought you were? How does that feel to acknowledge?
After really sitting in those positive feelings about ourselves, now we’re going to look forward while holding onto that.
Setting Goals:
Remember that goals are just figuring out where you want to go. We can’t plan our route unless we first know the destination.
Go ahead and write down some goals for 2025. And get specific! For example, instead of saying, “I want to lose weight,” say “I want to lose 20 pounds by June 1st.”
Use the SMART goal Framework. Goals should be:
S - Specific
Your goal should be well-defined and clear. It answers the questions:
What do you want to achieve?
Why is this goal important?
Who is involved?
Where will it happen?
Example:
Instead of saying, “I want to get in shape,” say, “I want to lose 10 pounds by running three times a week and removing processed foods from my diet.”
M - Measurable
Your goal should include criteria to measure your progress and success. It answers the question:
How much?
How many?
How will I know when it’s accomplished?
Example:
“I want to save $5,000 this year” is measurable because you can track how much you save each month.
A - Achievable
Your goal should be realistic and attainable, considering your resources and constraints. It answers the question:
Is this goal realistic given my current situation?
Do I have the resources and skills needed?
Example:
If you’re currently not exercising, saying, “I’ll run a marathon in a month” might not be achievable. A more realistic goal would be, “I’ll run a 5K in three months.”
R - Relevant
Your goal should align with your values, priorities, and long-term objectives. It answers the question:
Does this goal matter to me?
Does it align with my bigger life plans?
Example:
If your long-term goal is to be strong enough to run a marathon, then setting goals around how much you’re running each week is relevant to your overall goal.
T - Time-Bound
Your goal should have a deadline or time frame to create urgency and focus. It answers the question:
When will I achieve this goal?
What can I do today, this week, or this month to make progress?
Example:
“I will save $6,000 by December 31 by saving $500 per month.”
Now let’s decide on what kind of goals you want to set. Here is an example of the kinds of goals you might work toward for your physical, emotional, and mental health.
Physical Goals:
Go for a walk daily
Exercise for 30 minutes, 5 days a week
Start the day with a glass of water
Eat 20-30 grams of protein for breakfast
Get 7-8 hours of sleep each night
No screen time during certain hours (hour after waking, hour before bed)
Add colorful fruits and veggies to every meal
Balance food portions: Protein, healthy fat, healthy complex carbs
Complete a functional medicine detox
Mental/Emotional Goals:
Maintain a daily gratitude practice by writing 3 things you’re thankful for daily
Spend 15-30 minutes in nature daily
Find a therapist/coach to work through your blocks
Start a breath work practice
Start a grounding practice
Journal daily
Start the day with reading something uplifting
Start a cold shower practice for stress resilience
Limit time on social media
Personal Development/Learning Goals:
Read 12 books (one per month) on personal growth or other interests
Learn a new language using an app like Duolingo
Learn a new skill, like playing an instrument or coding
Take a cooking class to expand your culinary skills
Attend a workshop or seminar or taking a course on a topic of interest
Work with a coach or mentor to develop a certain skill set.
Relationship Goals:
Schedule a weekly date night with your partner
Call or visit your parents or loved ones once a week
Host a monthly game night or dinner party with friends
Plan a family vacation for quality bonding time
Make one new friend within your community, or join a hobby group/community
It’s worth taking the time to decide how you want 2025 to go. Reflect back on the last 12 months and remember what went well, what you accomplished, but also decide what you want to change.
Just remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. Once you set some goals and you know in what direction you want to go, just remember that you won’t get there tomorrow. Start slow. Pick one change you can implement immediately and slowly build on it.
You are resilient. You are strong. And there is so much in your life that you are in control of.
If creating change is difficult for you and you need some extra hand holding, then a great goal for 2025 is to take my course, Regulate + Thrive! A big part of the course is teaching you how to implement change in your life and developing better self-care, because if we’re not taking care of ourselves then we’re going to struggle to feel safe. And if we struggle to feel safe, then our nervous system is going to stay on high alert looking for the next threat.
If you haven’t been happy with the trajectory of your life, then it’s time to try something new. The slightest change in trajectory can take you to a very different destination a year from now.
Learn more about my course and whether or not it’s right for you below.
