Procrastination affects more than you think!
That thing that you know you need to do but you keep avoiding or putting off? It's affecting you more than you think!
I was determined to finish our taxes by the first week of January. I even took that week off so I could devote that time to getting it all done. I'm the one who preps everything for both my business and my husband's business so it can be a lot.
But I also have a lot of shame around taxes. If you're a business owner then you know that you can have really great seasons and then some dry seasons. It can be hard to keep up with everything and it's really easy to get behind.
When the market collapsed in 2008, our businesses really struggled. We were having to choose between which bills we could pay each month. It felt impossible to keep up with our taxes. And we got behind. Way behind. And it was that way for a few years.
And even though that was so long ago and it's all been addressed, I still have feelings of shame and avoidance when it comes to doing our taxes. It always feel like this giant, mountain of a project every year. And every year I have to fight myself to just get it done.
So this year I wanted it to be different. I took the first week of January off so I could just focus. Get it out of the way immediately. But as soon as the week started, it was like everything else in my life got in the way, part of it was me not prioritizing correctly, but a lot of it were things out of my control. The week flew by and by the end of it I had only made a dent.
And every week since then I've been trying to set aside time to work on it but I keep having more pressing things come up. It didn't feel like I was sabotaging it; it felt like it was all out of my control.
Which brings us to this last weekend. 6 weeks into the year and I still hadn't gotten it done. I finally had a free long weekend and I was determined to get it all finished.
But then this is when I really started to see the self-sabotage come out.
The whole week leading up to it, I was super emotional and very insecure. I thought everyone was mad at me. I felt like a failure. Nothing I did was good enough. I was spiraling into old feelings of shame that I hadn't experienced in a long time. And I couldn't figure out where it was all coming from. It wasn't hormonal, it wasn't situational, but it was heavy and hard to work through.
Years ago that would have worked. I wouldn't have been able to fight off those feelings of shame and I would have spent the weekend binging Netflix. I would have allowed myself to crawl into a hole because that's what I felt like doing. I would have made the excuse that I still had time, taxes aren't even due for a couple months.
But I didn't listen. I didn't know why I was feeling that way, but also knew I didn't want this weighing over me anymore. So I got to work. I not only got our taxes prepped but I created an entirely new system to help us budget and to make 2024 taxes a breeze.
It felt SO good to get that done. But here is what really surprised me. Monday morning, I woke up before my alarm. And I woke up buzzing with excitement. I popped out of bed and did my morning routine and was excited to tackle my list for the day. All day long I felt energetic, clear headed, happy, and like I could conquer anything.
That giant mountain was gone. I had no idea just how big of a weight it was. It was holding me back in more ways than I realized. All the emotion and feelings of worthlessness from the week before were gone. I suddenly understood why they were there in the first place. That was me trying to sabotage. I didn't have any more excuses of why I needed to put off this big scary thing, so my subconscious was trying to create a scenario that would keep me from doing it.
But not doing it was so much harder than just starting.
So whatever that big, scary thing is that you've been avoiding, just do it. The weight you're carrying around because of it is so much worse.
It may mean pushing past feelings of shame or guilt, but instead of focusing on that, focus on how you will feel once you're done.
Take a moment right now and visualize exactly how you'll feel once it's accomplished. Get a clear picture of it. How does that feel in your body? What words would you use to describe that feeling? Really marinate in that feeling. Now use that as motivation to start.
But as we know, sometimes getting started is the hardest part. One technique that has helped me is setting aside 10 minutes to start a task. Literally only 10 minutes. I set a timer so I don't go over! During that time, the goal is to do the starting pieces of whatever project needs to get done. That 10 minutes may not really make a dent in the project as a whole, but I tell you what - just knowing that you started it can be enough to help you move on and get past those mental and emotional hurdles!
I also love Mel Robin's 5 second rule. When you feel glued to the couch and can't seem to get yourself up and going, just tell yourself that you're going to count backward from 5 and as soon as you say 1, you have to get up. She uses this to get out of bed every morning and it works!
It's generally not the doing that's difficult, it's just the getting started. And especially if the project has any kind of shame around it, then it can feel impossible.
But remember that feelings are not facts. Your subconscious tries to sabotage because it can't reason. It doesn't know that you'll feel better once you accomplish your goal. It only knows that you're afraid of it right now. So it's trying to keep you from doing the scary thing to keep you protected. But you don't have to listen. You can choose to make a different decision this time.
So are you ready? You've got this! Keep that end feeling in the forefront of your mind. Hold onto that.
Now: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …..